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Do you need to be right?
“People are lonely because they build walls instead of bridges.”
-- Joseph F. Newton
How much does the “I’m right – you’re wrong” dynamic play out in your
relationships?
It’s a win/lose game played by the ego. If I win an argument, my ego feels
strong and more secure. Of course, if the other person wins, then the opposites
come up: I feel diminished, insecure and lousy.
There’s always a loser in this game. The right/wrong battle always promotes
conflict, not cooperation; separation, not union.
And so often, the debate doesn’t have to be about right and wrong but simply
differences. Different perspectives can both be valid.
In relationships, the play of the opposites invites us to choose to:
- fight or oppose each other, or
- come together in love.
Andrew Schneider says that we need to “be challenged to transcend the
personal so that we can experience our common identity. …At the soul level, we
can never be solitary – well-being depends on sharing ourselves and serving
others.”
When we become aware of those times when we’re caught in the right/wrong battle,
we can choose to find a win/win position instead.
How do you justify and make excuses for not connecting?
~ John and Patrice
“Maturity begins when we’re content to feel we’re right about something,
without feeling the necessity to prove someone else is wrong.”
-- Sydney J. Harris
Resources
Build Healthier Relationships Email Program – Explore your role in the
dynamics of connecting with the important people in your life. Discover how you
can find more satisfaction and fulfillment with others.
A Reminder
Weekly Re-Treat Yourself Process – Take time to focus on goals, balance
and peace of mind.
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