Growth Tools - Practical tools for meaningful growth

Take life (and death) as it comes

ďNo one ever told me that grief felt so like fear.Ē
-- C. S. Lewis

My fatherís passing in September has affected me in unexpected ways. Because we were so close, I expected to grieve. I didnít expect to be overwhelmed with fear and self-criticism.

Fear - dreadful, paralyzing fear of illness, of Alzheimers, of business failure, of global catastrophe ... you name it, Iíve probably been feeling it.

The self loathing I thought was history has been back with a vengeance. As Dadís passing proves we donít live forever, Iíve been obsessing over what I see as the failures of my life, with disappointment, anger and despair.

In rational moments, though, I can appreciate the value of these big emotions that canít be ignored. Perhaps losing Dad opened a door that is allowing energies Iíve locked away over my lifetime to emerge for clearing.

Iíve been told that when we lose both parents, no matter how old we are when the second one passes, we experience the distress of being orphaned. When our father passes, we lose our protector, or at least our dream of having a protector. These are big issues in our lives - itís no wonder Iím feeling insecure.

Fortunately, I have the tools to support me in surviving such an onslaught of pain. I know:

  • Not to compare myself with anyone else, as in "John is still functioning - whatís wrong with me?"
  • My negative thinking does not reflect the truth of my being.
  • Resisting my experience (as in ĎI have no right to be feeling this wayí) just prolongs it.
Over and over this past week, Iíve had to remind myself of the above. I sink into the muck but by shifting perspectives, I can pull myself up for air - over and over and over again.

This is the healing process. Itís not pretty or controlled - two qualities Iíve tried my best to impose on life. The truth is, this is whatís up right now for attention, and I need to allow the process to unfold. Accepting whatís happening and allowing it to be there is the only way it can pass away.

In my Canadian/English society, I havenít seen evidence of anyone feeling and acting the way I have lately, and this has prompted me to feel faulty. Iím sharing this with you in the hope that if you go through similar experiences, youíll give yourself permission to be there.

"In struggling against anguish one never produces serenity; the struggle against anguish only produces new forms of anguish."
-- Simone Weil

A Reminder
Daily, Weekly, Monthly RE-Treat Yourself Process - STOP and relax and reflect with these insightful processes.

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Growth Tools is brought to you by John & Patrice Robson of HigherAwareness.com.

Not yet a member of Higher Awareness?
Your personal growth library awaits you to resolve life issues and learning as they arise. We invite you to join us today.

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