Are you longing for a major breakthrough in your life? To suddenly have all the qualities you have always dreamed of? Well, sorry, but life doesn’t work this way. And actually, that’s a good thing.
Although we might want dramatic change, we wouldn’t be able to cope if it happened. Imagine the turmoil that would occur for yourself and the people around you if you could go to a seminar and return home a completely different person!
Perhaps it’s time to adjust your expectations for growth. Don’t count on a miracle that will totally change you overnight. Research has shown that even our most transformative experiences alter our behaviour by no more than 5%.
What to do, then? Let’s back up a bit and ask why you are longing for such dramatic changes. Do you want to be different because you believe you aren’t good enough as you are?
We often set unrealistically high standards for ourselves. We create a huge gulf between who we think we are and who we want to be. And really, it’s not just who we want to be, is it? It’s who we believe we need to be, to be successful and to be loved. And when we believe that we’re a failure as we now are, we make ourselves miserable.
Our assumptions need some adjusting. Being perfect won’t make you successful and loveable. Being happy and self-assured will!
So don’t dismay. Our personal transformation really begins when we can accept ourselves for who we are, warts and gifts and everything in between. With acceptance, we let go of our own harsh judgments. Our perspective shifts from “I’m not good enough” to “I’m okay and capable of being and doing more.” With self acceptance, we don’t feel pressured to be different, we feel inspired to grow!
When we’re not stuck in a faulty belief that we’re a failure, we awaken to the power in every moment. We are naturally empowered to change any thinking and behaviour we don’t like. You can heal your life!
Big changes happen in the small steps. Big changes happen right now:
- when we choose to laugh and forgive ourselves.
- when we shift our focus from what we don’t have to what we do have.
- when we focus on what we want rather than on what we don’t want.
- when we choose a positive outlook instead of a negative one.
- when we choose to react differently to a situation.
- when we unconditionally support the needs of others.
Big changes only happen through these moment-by-moment little ones. As we inch forward, changing our outlook moment by moment, we can see the quality of our lives shift. It’s so inspiring! Although 5% doesn’t sound like much of a transformation, it feels monumental!
So let’s be open, patient and accepting. Let’s ease off the pressure and turn up the fun. Let’s appreciate ourselves and the journey!
“No one can go back and make a brand new start. Anyone can start from now and make a brand new ending.” — Carl Bard